Because this is the last home we’ll ever share. That’s why it’s so hard so say goodbye. It’s closing the book, and I’m just not ready.
I didn’t want you to leave. I wanted you to stay. I wanted us to be important enough to you to do the work to stay, and not hurt us.
I have spent so many years proving I won’t leave, no matter the cost to me. For once, I wanted you to prove you loved us enough Justin. Enough to stay and do the work to be the man of this house, to protect us, care for us and keep us safe, instead of leave.
and It’s done, you made your choice, the same choice you made everytime. And so I have no choice but to believe you. We aren’t your priority - we never were, and we’ve run out of usefulness to you.
I don’t want to move, move on, because I’m not ready…
But much like everything else in our life…. I don’t have much choice.
One day I hope to understand what the last decade of my life was. There were lies from beginning to end. I hope to understand why you picked me, played me, hurt me, and abandoned me. And why you waited until now to do that.
because it wasn’t love. Love couldn’t have possibly had anything to do with it. Unless, it was how I loved you…
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